oratoryfluff's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- FED UP! Wow... I knew my life had backslid since my accident.. and for the most part I accept that and forgive myself for it. But it's time to get this back under control. I weighed in tonight. My weight has spiralled ridiulously out of control...and I permitted it. I could make excuses, but I won't. I created this problem, and now it's time to rectify it. I hate how I feel. I hate how I look. I see that face in the mirror looking back at me, and I look old. And I'm not old..I'm just unhealthy. My weight? 392 lbs. I knew it was going to be bad..I just didn't realize how bad. Now, I am going to to deal with this.. It's been long enough and I'm fed up with feeling like an old woman. I'm fed up with my clothes not fitting, and everything I own being too tight. (Do you know how cranky a woman can be in undies that are too snug?!) Most of all I am fed up with limiting myself with fat cells. Dammit.. I'm so over this... For the next 50 to 100 lbs I'll be on a strict low carb diet. Then I may modify it a bit.. Low carb works for me, like nothing else ever has. I think more clearly, I feel great, I sleep well, my workouts go SO much better, the digestions issues I so frequently have disappear, and the weight falls off. Why the hell did I ever stop? Oh yeah.. I was in a wreck, and then had a 6 month long pity party. Wasn't that smart? 9:10 p.m. - 2004-08-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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